Understanding the Psychology of Grief: Dealing with Loss

“I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was Grief.”

― C.S. Lewis

(Author-Chronicles of Narnia) 

All of us, at some point or other, have encountered or experienced grief. Grief is a universal experience, an inevitable part of life that we all encounter at some point. Understanding grief and how it impacts our lives is crucial, not necessarily to ease the grieving process, but to gain insights into our own experience of loss. 

At Samvedna Care, we aim to demystify grief and its psychological mechanisms. 

Loss, especially the death of a loved one, ranks among the most significant stressors in a person’s life.  Grief is intertwined with loss, whether it is a separation in a relationship,  loss of cherished possessions, relocating, losing a job, or, as mentioned earlier, the death of our loved ones. So, what happens when grief strikes us? 

Grief disrupts our body regulation, affecting our sleep, appetite, and decision making abilities. It is also a period marked by heightened sadness, anger, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating. Elisabeth Kübler Ross and David Kessler, renowned psychologists, identified five interconnected stages of grief.

• Denial: Initially, disbelief can last for days or weeks until we find the strength to work through the grieving process. 

Imagine a devoted pet owner whose beloved dog has passed away. In the denial stage, they might keep the dog’s bed ready, expecting their furry friend to return any moment, unable to accept the painful truth that their companion is gone.

• Anger: After the denial phase wanes, anger often surfaces. People often may feel frustrated, questioning why the loss or change is happening to them. 

When someone has lost their job unexpectedly, they may become furious, directing the anger at their former employer, their coworkers, or themselves for not preventing the situation. 

• Bargaining: In this stage, individuals may attempt to make deals or bargains in an effort to reverse or mitigate the loss. They might promise to change their behaviour or do something differently in exchange for a different outcome. 

If a relationship ends, one person might enter the bargaining stage by making promises like, “I’ll change my ways and be a better partner if you come back.” 

• Depression: As the reality of the loss sets in, profound sadness, regret, and despair can become overwhelming. This stage is a natural response to the enormity of the situation and should not be confused with clinical depression. 

         After the death of a loved one, an individual may experience deep sadness, often accompanied by crying and withdrawal from social activities. 

• Acceptance: In the final stage, individuals come to terms with the reality of the loss or change. They begin to find a way to move forward with their lives and adapt to the new circumstances. 

Following the loss of a close friend, someone in the acceptance stage begins to acknowledge the permanence of the loss. They may focus on positive memories and lessons learned from the friendship. 

It is important to understand that grieving is not linear. The stages do not necessarily exist in one particular order; they vary from individual to individual. One can experience bargaining and then return to denial and anger. 

C.S Lewis (Author of Chronicles of Narnia) substantiates the grieving process, he says, “For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often — will it always be for always? — how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realised my loss till this moment.”? The same leg is cut off time after time.”   

Grief is not a disease, nor is it easy to navigate. Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience, and it can be challenging to navigate on your own. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, it’s essential to remember that help is available. Samvedna Care provides valuable support through online counselling sessions with a team of experienced professionals specializing in helping individuals cope with loss and navigate the grieving process. In addition to online counselling, we understand the importance of mental health assessments during the grieving process. Mental health tests can provide valuable insights into an individual’s emotional well-being, helping individuals and their mental health therapists better understand their needs and track progress over time. By combining the support of online counselling with the insights from mental health tests, Samvedna Care ensures that individuals receive holistic care, guiding them through the intricate path of grief and helping them find their way to a place of healing and fulfillment. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone; support is just a click away.